As I was sitting on my porch the other night, drinking some non-sweet iced tea; I looked out on the forest floor and looked up into the sky. I found them both to be very busy. The songbirds were moving all over the place and the squirrels seemed to be bouncing around on the ground from tree to tree. It felt good just sitting there looking around. It is the springtime and all the hard work of some of those little animals did to take care of each other is paying off as they are alive to enjoy another spring. This got me to thinking about those people in my life have worked hard to take care of me and others.
They almost seem invisible sometimes and yet they’re there every day to care for someone. I think you’ll know what I mean. You know the grandmother who takes care the grandchildren because her children are unable to do so. Or the son and the daughter who take care the father or the mother. There are children who take care of their parents. There are the brothers and sisters who take care of their brothers and sisters. There are the parents of disabled children who must rely upon other family members to help them take care of those children. I think no matter where you look you’ll find that someone is looking over and caring for someone. They do it because they love and care for each other. I know there are people who get paid to care for people. I am talking about the people who do it because they want to. Many times it is because there is no one else to do this. You do not have to go far to find the circumstance near you where this is happening.
My thought for today is that you need to take the time and thank these people. It is probably more likely that you will go out of your way to thank a policeman or fireman, rather than one of your own family members. I know that as the oldest child of my family, I was called on at a very early age to help my family out. Usually it was just a matter of money or the inconvenience of taking someone to and from a place. As the oldest son I felt that it was my duty to handle any incident that was presented to me for my family.
In the beginning it was a mark of pride for me to help my mom or my dad. It made me feel like I had reached a level of respect that I desired. I carry that tradition on for many years. Then as I got older I found it harder to handle family matters without feeling a little stressed. I did not recognize the stress in the beginning, but it was there nonetheless. While living through the death of my mother, my father and my brother, I broke down and just started crying. I did not realize at the time that I’ve been carrying the load of stress that comes along with taking care of loved ones. No one asked me to do this and I did not want any special recognition for it. It was just something that seemed to be the natural order of things. I was fortunate that my youngest sister was there when I broke down and she took up the reins of caring for the family matters.
I mention this because there are still people in my family and my extended family they carry the load and stress. Many times it is the child that lives near us the aging parent that takes up caring for that parent. That means that their life is really not their own and everything they do is done with the thought of that parent mind. Even when some folks go on vacation they feel obligated to take their parents. I did this once with my mom on the trip to San Francisco. Things that I had not thought of began to bear down on me. For example, I did not take into consideration the long walk at the airport from the parking lot to the airport check it. My mom faded fast and I felt like an idiot for not already having a wheelchair there. During that trip my mom really didn’t get out much. I had not taken into account a way to get there from point A to point B; she needed a wheelchair to do that. There are also a lot of grandparents out there that take care of their grandchildren full-time. In an ideal world when you get to the age of retirement you should be able to do what you want when you want. Many grandparents end up being full-time parents to their grandchildren. They do so willingly and out of love. But that also means they are not free to do what they want when they want. Everything they do must be done with the thought of that child in mind. Once again, it is usually the grandparent who lives closest to the child that takes up that task. These people give every day and willingly. But what they may not see is that their stress level really goes up.
Those of us that live around those caretakers usually start to see something like a change in that person’s personality. Many of us just write it off as they are getting older or they’re just getting grumpy. I think if you look further you will find out that they are living with a lot of stress. Until you understand that you’re living with a lot of stress, you cannot do things to relieve that stress. The stress tends to building up and up and up. People around you notice that you’re becoming more easily irritated and this many times ends up in a family fight.
I think it’s time for you to look around and seek out those people who take care of others and say thank you. I know that you can just say that on the telephone while talking to them, but I would recommend that you do or buy something that will make them smile. I also think you need to tell them that their handling a lot of stress. Once they realize what is happening they can take action on handling the stress. Maybe you can send them a flower or plant. Or you can set them up to have dinner somewhere while you take care of their duties. You must make sure that you let them know that you’re doing this as a way of saying thank you. This is not saying that they’re not doing a good job. Help them handle the stress. Even if it’s just a little bit at a time it really does mean a lot.
Thank you for taking the time to read this blog.
Pops
Ps Thanks sister
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